Educating Jimmer

So there I was at a party. The house was full of people milling about. I was standing in one room when all of the sudden a guy bumped me as he tried to walk past me. I fell backwards on to a lovesac that was already occupied with a few people, but luckily I landed in the only open space available. I decided that as crazy as my surroundings were I should stay where I was for the time being. All of the sudden the guy next to me rolled over and I was staring into the face of Jimmer. My thoughts went something like this...'Oh my gosh, it's Jimmer. IT'S JIMMER. Okay Whitney calm down. You don't want him to think you are a freak. You are on a lovesac next to Jimmer Fredette and you will make normal conversation without being even the slightest bit nervous. YOU WILL BEHAVE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON.' After this self pep talk, I began to make casual conversation with Jimmer.

It was going pretty well until all of the sudden another guy pushed me from the opposite side right as Jimmer happened to sit up and lean forward on the lovesac. I fell hard right into the area he had just been occupying. I quickly recovered by sitting back up and I said, "Oh my gosh, the only thing I could think right then was don't hurt Jimmer, of all the people in the world to injure right now, Jimmer Fredette would be the worst."

Then the guy on the other side of Jimmer started laughing and said, "You thought that YOU could injure Jimmer Fredette?!?!" And then he started laughing like a hyena.

Jimmer was quite distracted by this time. He left the lovesac and headed into a connecting room. I watched him approach his girlfriend and a few other people. Right then, my roommate, Rachel J. (we'll call her Rachel J because that is her name and at the time all of my roommates were named Rachel) came running in. "Jimmer?! Oh my gosh?!?!!! Jimmer is that you? Jimmer, I have to show you my artwork. I just have to say that I have been SO inspired ever since I started watching you play. I mean look!" And she shoved a painting into Jimmer's face exclamining, "Can you believe it? It's my best work yet. Oh Jimmer, I just find you so inspiring." At this point she turned the painting around and I gasped as I saw a picture of an ice castle with Jimmer jumping in perfect form in his white #32 jersey in front of an enormous photo realistic ice castle. Jimmer was trying very hard to be polite. Meanwhile I could see his girlfriend stifling her laughter and trying not to show her annoyance that my roommate was hitting on her boy friend. Rachel J then shoved the painting in Jimmer's face and said, "But Jimmer, look at how I captured the light!"

Needless to say I was quite embarrassed of my roommate by this time so I decided to get some fresh air. I walked out of the house and discovered that the party was taking place in an old farm house. In the surrounding field I saw my car parked among the rows of crops, but I had no recollection of parking there. I was soon approached by the farmer who said that he noticed I had parked in his field. "Yes, I'm quite sorry about that." I said.

"Well, I'll let it slide this time, just don't ever do it again." he responded. Then he added, "Come here and pull on this rope down here."

"You mean that vine?" I asked.

"Yes, pull on that vine." I reached down and pulled on the vine which eventually yielded a gigantic squash. I love squash so I was happy to see my prize.

"Well look at that. Listen here little lady," he instructed, "I'm going to have to give you a ride home tonight because you won't be able to transport that squash in your nice car."

I returned to the house and upon entering I found both Jimmer Fredette and Jackson Emery seated in the arm chairs in the entry way. I proceeded past them and then came back. I approached the young men and said, "Alright, I know you've heard this from everyone, but it's my turn to say it. I just want to say that I am really proud of you guys. This year has been so amazing and I have loved watching you play. I just really hope that the rest of the semester goes well, and that you do well on your finals, and that graduation is a blast."

Jimmer interrupted, "I'm going to stop you right there Whitney...I already made my decision."

"What decision?" I asked.

"I'm going back to my team. They need me and I want to be there for them."

"What team?"

"The Buffalo Something Somethings."

"What?! But what about the NBA draft? You can't be serious."

"What can I say, my boys need me."

"But when are you leaving?"

"Friday, May 16th."

"Oh my gosh, Jimmer when you said Friday, I thought you were going to stop there meaning that you were leaving on this Friday and I was about to say, Jimmer stay in school. You've come so far. Please just graduate. You will never regret finishing school."

At this point Jackson started laughing and punched Jimmer in the arm, "Dude, she just gave you the education speech." And he proceeded to laugh.

"Well, it's time for me to go, but you guys should go outside and pull a vine. You never know what kind of prize you've going to get! ...Apparently I'm supposed to get a ride home with the farmer tonight?"

"Yeah, we wouldn't take that ride if we were you." Jackson said, and Jimmer nodded in agreement.

I walked back out the door to see that the gasoline tank door on my car was open. I knew I didn't get gasoline in the field. In fact, I could not even remember when I had last filled my car with gas. I had no idea what was going on.

Disclaimer: All events listed above are from an actual dream I had. Rachel J does not paint, nor does she stalk athletes. No Jimmers or crops were harmed in the making of this dream.